ive been into a habit recently of telling myself everything will be alright whenever my emotions flare, an imaginary pat on the back and a comforting "there there". i suppose its healthier than what i used to do to cope with life but im worried im not facing the problems in my life and dealing with them properly, kind of just pushing them to the side for a while. i just drink my vodka and smoke a joint and dance with my friends until i don't care about whatever it was anymore, i suppose it seems unsettling to people on the outside of my brain, but emotionally just being able to socialize properly without dragging everyone down is a big step for me. I still worry though, im beginning to feel like ive fallen back into a rut, a better one than the last but a rut all the same, im not moving towards my goal in life, im just sitting here. im beginning to think i may never make it back to college, oh why do i still do this to myself? There there,

...all better